Dear Reader, Today I want to discuss in depth something that I haven't seen addressed in many places which advertise the power of optimism and positive thinking. The little-discussed fact is this: when you engage in profound optimism, turning up all those bright lights allows you to see your shadows much more clearly.
In other words, when I'm practicing my Throbbing, Extra-Rational Optimism and my hops and great things are starting to happen in my life or I'm even just starting to feel better I notice that I begin to more sensitively perceive the old messages and patterns which are out of accord with my new vision. They stick out more clearly because they contrast with all the light and joy I'm bringing into my mind through positive virtualization.
As my life today expands in awesomeness at a rapid rate, some old messages I once received about how I don't deserve to be trusted and about how speaking my truth is dangerous are rearing up again. These messages and the behavior patterns they cause me to enact when I'm unconsciously responding to them can prevent me from realizing my authentic preferences. It's crucial that as I become conscious of them, I am honest about what happened to me and I work to deal with the distortions those happenings caused.
What happened was that my truth and my innocence were invalidated by someone I trusted. I spoke out about being abused and the person I trusted with this sensitive fact told me that I was wrong, I had made it all up, and I had better get quiet about it again or else. The effect of this invalidation and threat were almost more damaging to me than the initial abuse. I accepted my confidant's unfair version of reality-- that I was wrong, a liar, and that my truth was dangerous. My naive acceptance of this false evaluation led me deep into confusion and depression as a teenager.
I didn't want to be me, and I didn't feel safe contacting my own knowledge. I saw myself as the false confidant saw me-- as a threat, a problem, a trouble-maker. I lost sight of who I really was-- kind, honorable, magic. In order to deal with these shadows, I practice a specific kind of work which reconnects me to my full perception of my real goodness and innocence.
I find this work to be deeply powerful because it alters my self-image-- but not in a fake, pumped-up way. It alters my self-image by taking strength away from the distorted self-perceptions I acquired when I accepted the false projections of others and by restoring to me the innocent, positive truth I knew about myself as a child.
This self-image is an image of who I authentically am. Today, I want to share this work process with you. I recommend that you don't undertake it, though, unless you have supportive people in your life who know your story and who know how you're trying to change. In other words, if you don't yet have loving friends or a good therapist or life coach to help you through traumatic stuff from your past, wait until you do before undertaking this process. Go some place safe and relax. Become aware of the false messages your brain is offering, or the troubled patterns your life is evidencing.
Ask, "When did I first think that or do that? For me, it's not just that my mind sometimes tells me that I don't deserve to be trusted or that my truth isn't worth hearing, it's that I also have repetitive patterns of doubting and second-guessing myself. When I got really still and asked myself, "When did I first start doubting myself? Mentally go back to the scene wherein you received the false messages about you and your worth.
This can be difficult and disturbing to do, which is why I don't suggest doing it unless you have a loving and wonderful person to call if the scene gets to be too much for you. Imaginatively insert yourself back into that scene with your present-day knowledge, and loudly and repeatedly assert the real truth within that scene. For example, I assert: "I do not deserve to be disbelieved and threatened. I do deserve to be heard, loved, and protected. We couldn't have made our parents feel better, or heal their woundedness, as we may have believed as little ones.
Only they could. Their hurt had nothing to do with you. When we begin to bond with our inner child by validating and welcoming it, the frozen parts in us start to melt.
It may take some time to open up to each other both adult and child after being separated for so long. As an adult you need to learn how to open your heart to what was once labelled 'wrong'. Your inner child needs reassurance and encouragement to step out of his or her hiding place. But once the connection is restored it will feel as if something precious has returned to you, something natural and fluid, fitting you like a glove. What are the gifts of our inner child that become available again once the ice of survival has melted?
Here's a few: trust, liveliness, innocence, curiosity, joy, boldness, clarity, wonder, lightness, purity, playfulness, openness Qualities we recognize in young children making them so adorable but that we somehow seem to have left behind in the process of growing up. Qualities we long for and that long for us as well.
In all of us there is a little boy or girl, representing these life-giving juices, waiting to be found, held and be part of you again. Apart from all these good things that will flow back to you, the process of connecting with your inner child may be emotional and painful as well sometimes, especially in the beginning. Therefore I would recommend to grant yourself a counsellor or therapist to help you work through the difficult patches if you feel it may be a challenge for you.
https://agendapop.cl/wp-content/map20.php To help you on your way and offer you some insights and guidelines that may be helpful, I will describe the following four steps of the bonding process. You do this by simply visualizing yourself as a little boy or girl.
The child may appear as a four or ten year old, all is fine. This may sound easy, but is not always the easiest part. You have been subconsciously suppressing his or her presence for so long that you may feel reluctant to actually meet your inner child. The same goes for the little boy or girl who may initially appear distant, sad, frozen or not at all! Don't feel discouraged by this.
Understand that it takes time to trust each other again. There may be grief over the things you didn't receive in your childhood, simply give some room to these emotions. They will soon make place for the joy of meeting that beautiful small person. Sometimes the connection is there immediately, more often it takes time to establish trust.
The little child deeply longs for your embrace and love but may need reassurance and validation before it will give itself. Connect to your inner child often, listening, validating its feelings and needs, loving it.
Once there is enough trust, you are ready to fully open up to each other. Enjoy the qualities of your inner child, and keep tending to its needs to feel safe and welcome. Put it number one as often as you can. Give it a front seat in your heart, stay open for its playful energy.
Enjoy the intimacy between you! Again, it is not about regression, about you suddenly acting as a little child expressing these natural gifts.
When will my order be ready to collect? His decision was beyond courageous—and risky. On the path to claiming a true sense of worthiness, there cannot be any principles or ideologies. Topics anthropocene beauty catastrophic climate change civil liberties civil unrest climate change collapse collapse of industrial civilization community corruption denial depression despair drought economic collapse economy ecopsychology emotional and spiritual preparation empire energy energy depletion environment extinction extreme weather food security Fukushima global warming grief Guy McPherson hospice infinite growth joy meaning methane near-term extinction new paradigm options Peak oil purpose radiation resilience resource wars self-reinforcing feedback loops shadow transition. New trauma messes with our sense of safety and trust. There have been times when, regardless of all I know, I wondered what the point was, but underneath I have known there is a point, and I that I could find my way back.
Forget about visiting a playground doing childlike things, but embody your liveliness while being at work, enjoying the energy of it. The invitation is to allow these qualities to be part of your adult life, to bring wonder and curiosity in your days, to welcome joy and trust in your own heart and stop hindering yourself with critical remarks. The process of bonding takes time. Perhaps a few weeks, a few months or even years. It doesn't matter, just enjoy the ride! A totally integrated inner child is a child no more, its essence simply absorbed into the heart's fabric, adding trust, ease and lightness to your inner felt sense, making you feel at home in yourself.
Anxiety is quite a topic these days. Instead of trying to ignore the impact of it, or treating it as a force we can't seem to stand up against, let's take a pause and look into what we are dea In this article, we're going to have a closer look at the one who is experiencing anxiety, the one we call "me.
Try for free. Reclaiming the gifts of your inner child What ever happened to our zest for life, our childlike trust and our delicious boldness?